A FUNNY GAME CALLED LIFE!

Who was it who said.. “Life.. it’s a funny ol’ game” ? Who ever it was, how right they were!!! And people…. People are so different from each other.. people can change without you even noticing it… I s’pose that’s all part of the game!! Apparently I’ve changed (so I was told recently)… well… that’s quite obvious really… I’ve had a life… lots of experiences some very good, some very bad, circumstances have changed, situations have changed… and I have the lines on my face to tell of them so why not my persona slightly change… but I’m still me, still have the same values, the same beliefs, the same heart and the same brain, and those that really know me.. know that. Some things that excited and interested me 5/10 years ago, don’t hold my attention any longer… but some things that maybe bored me 20 years ago, have suddenly become intriguing to me!!! As you can see, I’m in a very philosophical mood at the moment. I’ve not written since my Caister Blog as a lot has been happening in the world of me. I lost a very dear Aunty, she was 84… she had a terrible fall and was taken into hospital, 10 days later she contracted this goddam awful stomach bug… she collapsed and was unconscious and the decision was made to let her go… she didn’t want to be resuscitated and she stayed asleep. The funeral was beautiful, yet strange… as these things are.. There were family members I hadn’t seen for over 16 years.. with very good reason for some I hasten to add… but also for others, because time has just slipped away and the years have disappeared in the blink of an eye. Morgan (my son) and I, pulled up in the car and I looked at him and said… “I don’t know anyone”, I was actually quite nervous. There was a group mingling outside the church waiting for my aunt, my mum & dad and my cousins to arrive. We got out of the car and as we walked towards the people and they started to turn ‘round, I could hear… “it’s Debi, oh my look at her and look at Morgan now”… then I realised.. the grey haired guy standing tall with his wife, daughter and her husband, was Ken… my first ever crush!!! He was tall, once with a thick mop of black hair, beautiful brown eyes and always with a suntan… also my 2 nd cousin… I always remember the day I saw a Chirstmas card on his mums mantle-piece from his girlfriend (wife today), saying “to the one I love”… I was devastated and hated her for days!!!! Reverting back to a soppy teenager I made my way over to him and his family… I believe I actually blushed too… “well look at you… you’ve blossomed.. you look great” he hugged me and kissed me (on the cheeks) and so did his wife and daughter… I introduced poor Morgan as “my baby”.. and we stood catching up on as much as we could. Then I heard a shriek from behind me… “DEBORAH JONES.. I’d recognise you ANYWHERE”…. I knew the voice, but I couldn’t see her.. another 2 nd cousin.. Julia.. I SO wanted to be like her when I was younger, she was 8 years older than me and always had the most amazing clothes, hair styles, make up tips… she was gorgeous.. and there was me a fat dumpy thing. Then all of a sudden, there she was, shooting from behind a crowd of other family members I hadn’t recognised… Obviously still 8 years older, AND still as glamorous… she wasn’t so tall though.. I towered above here.. petite little figure and her now blonde hair.. we hugged and cuddled and laughed, yes and cried … we had to stop.. we had to remind ourselves where we were. The service was nice… not like a lot of the services I’ve been used to in the last few years… sad, and spiritually up lifting.. it was nice.. and it suited Aunty Eileen, a shy but very kind gentle lady. She was laid rest with my Uncle… it was quite surreal for me… 25 years ago on the spot they were to be sleeping, I had had my wedding pictures taking exactly there.. then 9 years after that.. Uncle Bill was laid to rest there, and now Aunty Eileen.. it’s something I can never get my head round. After looking at all the flowers and tributes, and paying our respects to each other, we then made our way to the pub… again.. a very strange feeling. We had just been crying and holding each other, comforting one another as we said our own little good byes, and within half an hour, the whole group was laughing, joking and playing catch up… talking about the old times, Christmas parties we used to hold at Easter, talking about how we’ve changed how we haven’t changed, what we’ve done with our lives. Being introduced to children and grandchildren, new husbands and wives… Us 40 plus year olds were still being called “the kids” and our kids were being called the babies.. but some of the babies had babies. It was perfect.. a wonderful send off for a wonderful lady and I was so proud to be there and be a part of this wonderful family. As I said… “Life… it’s a funny ol’ game” A true statement…. Aunty Eileens funeral made me realise something… we ALL make our mark.. in our own way.. we all are here to do something.. I don’t know what it is I’m here to do, but I am beginning to find out, and just maybe someone, somewhere, looked up to me when they were a little girl like I looked up to Julia. I wondered out of the young girls there, which one of the three giggling in the corner was the one that would make Morgan their first crust… him NEVER EVER knowing (although I did actually tell Ken at the end of the day that he had been mine)… We all … day to day, do our own thing, go through our trials and tribulations, we have our own set of friends … new families…. But when you look at the bigger picture… WE ARE ALL THE SAME as much as WE ARE ALL DIFFERENT. We are born, we live, we die. The important thing is how we do the bit in the middle. Last Tuesday instilled in me even deeper than it already was … WE MUST LIVE OUR LIVES TO THE FULL.. enjoy every single moment as much as we can and embrace LIFE…. the wind, the rain, the sun, the snow… the flowers, the grass, the trees and the people around us. Accept people for who they are, what they chose to do and be thankful we have had the opportunity to enjoy these things… even the sad and bad things. It all makes us! EVERY DAY MATTERS… and yes, a “funny ol’ game” but… It’s one game.. I love!!!