Dancing Debi's Dotty Diary!!! : Fantasy perhaps.. but I done it!!

Dancing Debi's Dotty Diary!!! : Fantasy perhaps.. but I done it!!: Another week in fantasy land and a very happy ending I don't know where to start today.  I haven't blogged for a while.. my world ...

Fantasy perhaps.. but I done it!!

Another week in fantasy land and a very happy ending

I don't know where to start today.  I haven't blogged for a while.. my world has gone crazy.  On one hand things became really hard financially and to be honest could have been pretty depressing.. I'm on lock down.. the government and Mr. Tax Man have scre*ed me over again.. just when you think you're relatively free of them. But, as the saying goes, there's always a flip side to the coin!!!

Everything was beginning to get on top of me.. the only escapism I seemed to be getting was my location shoots with some great photographers.. I met some new ones.. Chris Bright, the crazy man with the hat.. we done a sunset shoot at the local country park and then the following Saturday, the lovely Chris Mansfield that seemed to want me to believe he was no good.. it was all lies, we got some amazing images that day.. I went from a boudoir belle to a mad woman trapped in a bunker dressed like some kind of over-aged doll.. at one point.. I was even flying lol.  Then I had my shoot with Matthew Allen.. we hit the wilds of the woods and I climbed trees, walked around the forest on a sunny day dressed in an evening dress and got some extremely funny looks.. My little fantasy world was real... 

Whilst on a break from one of these shoots, I received a very interesting email.  It was from a lingerie company, saying that they had seen and liked my work and that they would like to invite me to a meeting to discuss becoming one of their models for their mature range of lingerie soon to be launched.. Suddenly.. it was all beginning to come together.  They invited me up to London to meet the owner and designer and discuss the details of the shoot.. just by chance.. this was going to happen smack bang in the middle of the week that I had booked my annual leave.. to rest my tired self and recharge my batteries.  OH if only I knew.

That week .. was last week.. it has to be.. I must say.. one of the craziest weeks I've had in .. forever!!!

As the week drew closer, I was approached by various photographers to work with them.. we schemed and made arrangements.. Not being one to turn down an opportunity to strutt my stuff, I soon found myself booked.. Monday to Saturday, with just  Tuesday and Wednesday to spare,, although really, that wasn't spare at all.. I was off up to London!

On the Monday, I was being photographed by Charlie,, Amthai Photographer.. he is a very well published gentleman and wanted to "shoot" (NOT literally).. a REAL woman.. he turned up nice and early and we made our way to the beach... We had a fab day.. we even had our own security guard.. some guy called Luke tagged along with us.  Charlie, a lovely man went about his business totally un-fazed by our company..,, all I cared about was "is my belly looking huge" and "do my wrinkles look awful" lol.. this was the shape of things to come.. the week was amazing.. I shot with my good friend John Garrett.. for him, I was back up at the old castle ruins in Hadleigh, dressed as a gypsy girl at first and then a kind of 50's style lady.. When we were doing the gypsy shots we were joined by 4 tiny tots.. all wanting to be "Modlers" lol... Daddy had to take photos and it was really sweet.

On Friday, I was shooting with another amazing talent... Simon Alston Fox.. I had seen some of his work and admired his style.. sophistication to the max.. at one point I felt like I could almost have been Audrey Hepburn.. his shots added a certain something.. the lighting was amazing and I'm really happy with the results.. I look like me but more sophisticated.  It was another really good fun day.. and I cant wait to work with Simon again.

My good ol' friend John P(the one who's fault all this is) had contacted me during the week, there was just one image that he needed, he wanted.. he had to get it... he asked me if I would help him out .. of course I could.... at that stage.. I didn't realise that I would be spending my Saturday morning.. freezing cold in a swimming pool.. waiting for the sun to come out.. but .. WE GOT THE SHOT!!! 

Now.. getting back to the Lingerie people.. Wednesday morning.. I woke up, had barely slept.. what was wrong with me?.. in my younger day.. this used to be a common thing.. waking up.. getting ready.. popping on a train into town.. meeting agents or stylists or designers.. many times getting totally knocked back.. but ocassionally the odd success story.. here I was 25 years later.. getting ready to do it all again..

I felt sick, my stomach was churning over and over like I had the whole of the foreign legion in there.. my nerves started to get the better of me and I started to become anxious... I said to my son.. I cant do this... he looked at me - "why? You can".. I looked at him again.. and I remembered something he said to me months ago, when we were in the middle of an argument about money and my job.. his words to me were.. "You push me to achieve mum... what about you?.. why don't you push yourself?  What happened to YOUR dreams?... do what YOU want to do.. for YOU"... that was the turning point. It was at that moment I realised.. everything I've been trying to do in the last few months.. encouraging people, male and female alike of similar age to me..  "BELIEVE IN YOURSELF".. don't give up on your dreams.. you only live once... everything.. it was coming together.. and it was happening to me.. for a split second there I was willing to give up on my myself but he was right.. I HAD TO DO THIS.. not for anyone else.. but me.  

So.. off we went. My boy dropped me to the station and I sat on the train.. I'm not going to pretend I wasn't nervous .. of course I was.. not only was there a chance I could get a complete "No thank you you're not what we're looking for" .. I also knew I was having to meet my worse nightmare again.. the London underground.. but.. I did it.  I got there with minutes to spare. 

When the owner and the designer came to meet me.. I suddenly felt at ease.. we sat there, drinking coffee in Cafe Nero by St. Pauls Cathedral.. passing items of lingerie to each other across the table.. chatting enthusiastically about the shoot, the product and basically most things.... She still wanted me!!  She had seen me in the flesh.. and still wanted me to be a part of her campaign.  I signed the contract :-)

At 48 years old.. I have done it.. I have followed my dreams.. battled for them.. worked hard for them.. yes I know.. right now it is only one job.. it might only ever be one job.. I may never make my fortune this way.. but what does that matter?.. When the day comes and I'm sitting with my grandchildren with my dentures in and my blue rinse.. I can say.. I DID IT!!!  I can't tell you how that makes me feel... I really can't... I'm so happy.

One thing though.. to all those that think I'm now going to kick up my heels and give it up.. You couldn't be more wrong... NO I'm not going to stop .. definitely not now.. I'm going to keep going, keep working and keep believing... I'm gaining a reputation with some of the photographers I've worked with as being a "little nutz"? I can't disappoint them can I?... So.. I will keep climbing trees, keep standing in freezing cold swimming pools and most importantly KEEP MY DREAM ALIVE!!! 

It may not be much to some... but it's mine!! :-)

A CHAMPAGNE LIFESTYLE ON A GUINESS WAGE

A Normal Life?  So, What is Normal? 
That may seem like a strange question, but come on.. what IS a normal life?  Each and every one of us live completely different lives to that of the person sitting next to us. I was told recently that my life was “mad, crazy, drama filled, exciting” then asked… “don’t you ever crave a ‘normal’ life?” . My reply was “my life IS normal – I am normal”…  but then I wondered.. WHAT ISNORMAL! I suppose, after sitting back and thinking about things, I am very lucky at times! Take last week for example! Every day, just like many of us, my alarm buzzes at 6:15am… I hit snooze till the last and then jump out of bed…  My first port of call is the bathroom, every day, no matter what time.. that’s quite normal!! …  I do the normal ablutions, then go downstairs.. feed the cat, let her out, put the kettle on and make a cuppa.. see… that’s normal… not too strong with one sweetener!  I go back upstairs with my tea and sit at my dressing table, I cant say that I carefully apply my make-up.. I slap it on.. it’s far too early to fuss too much.. I then sometimes straighten, but always brush my hair, spray deodorant and smellies, get dressed then go downstairs for breakfast.  Normally (see.. normal) .. I have cereal of some kind. From Monday to Friday I go to work in an office… I do a job that I can do back to front, upside down and hanging from a chandelier if necessary.. although that isn’t one of the requirements in my contract!  I believe, as most people do, that I am extremely underpaid… but in todays climate.. isn’t thatnormal?? Is ANYONE paid their worth!! Depending on whether or not my son is home, when I get in, I may, may not cook a dinner, money is tight right now, so if it’s just me, then I tend to have something quick and very cheap, and save the good stuff for when we are both together and we can have a proper meal. After dinner I tidy round, go upstairs make my bed if I haven’t made it in the morning, and then pop on the lycra leggings and vest… I either hula hoop for a while (still learning that one), do a workout video, go for a run (OK.. I run like a dinosaur so am more likely to walk fast) or a go to Zumba or training.  (Normal see) Now.. this is where I’ve kind of hit a wall.. because normally, I would have a bath, check my emails and watch a bit of telly until bed time… THAT is what is normal to me.. but of course.. last week, that wasn’t happening as such.. I was having late into the night discussions with a certain photographer that I will be working with in a weeks time (just a bit excited) about weird and wonderful ideas… hmmmmm… no… certainly NOT normal! All will be revealed AFTER the day! Any way, getting back on the “normal” track…Normal for me nowadays is coming home on a Friday night after work and preparing for my shoot on a Saturday… because I work - most of the shoots I do are arranged around the weekends… THIS week.. wasn’t normal.. I gave my self a shoot free weekend.  It would have been heaven, if it weren’t for the migraine that I got… Twas not good!!!  I spent the day feeling rather sorry for myself… but then again.. years ago.. for me THAT was normal.  A friend came over and we watched a couple of movies and then… after more discussions with the photographer re props and outfits.. I went to my bed.. and slept very well Now.. Sunday it got REALLY quite ABNORMAL for me to be honest…  as usual, the S.A.S. Who Dares Spins radio show on Solar Radio was going ahead.  I don’t get to go every week but when I do .. I always enjoy myself… I, along with the lovely TC, take the phone calls and run the Facebook and email etc.. while the just as lovely, Mr Flip, interviews guests… Since being a part of the team I’ve met some amazing talents, The Womacks, Junior Giscombe, Kenny Thomas.. I’m not going to go on coz I don’t want to be accused of being a name dropper… but seriously, some very interesting and nice people.  I don’t normally get too excited though as the way I see it.. these people are NORMAL.. just like me and you.. they just happen to have amazing talents and bring joy to so many people, in their voices, their writing, their skills as musicians… 9/10 times you meet them and they’re as down to earth as you…. but this week.. this week I was getting excited… I was told on Friday.. Mr. Eric Benet would be the guest on the show… OH MY GOD!!! The man who has sung so many love songs (to me)  that I have listened to at various meaningful moments in my life… one of my favourite tracks to dance to “Why you Follow Me”… and not only does he have a most beautiful voice.. he’s rather easy on the eye too. I tried to convince myself.. “he’s just a normal guy, he’s no one special, he’s probably up he’s own back side” and “you’re not excited Debi … why would you be”… but if I’m totally honest.. the adrenaline was pumping on Sunday morning.. I couldn’t wait for Flip, TC and I to get to that studio… I was posting all over Face Book that Eric Benet was guesting in the hot seat of Flips show and please come listen  - I thought if I kept saying it.. I might believe it. We got to the studio and everything was quite relaxed… although TC and I kept giving each other secret little smiles lol….we knew what we were thinking!! HOW LUCKY WERE WE!!!! Then I heard our guest(s) come in.. I was in the room tinkering with the computer just outside the studio and I heard Flip introducing himself and TC and Lloyd and Mark.. and I stayed frozen to my seat.. what should I do?.. run out there like a silly little girl.. or compose myself and behave like a professional?… a professional what though? I don’t know? But I stayed put until in he walked – I stood up and said hello as Flip introduced me and we shook hands…. Now.. at this point.. I imagine you’re expecting me to say that I swooned… NO.. I didn’t…  I conducted myself accordingly and carried on saying hello to the people that were with him… he’s Manager I presume and then this other guy!!! Now THIS man was a personality… he came bounding in “Hello girl” peck peck on the side of the cheek and off into the studio.. for some reason.. I liked him immediately a very vibrant air about him – a cheeky s*d too…. If I remember rightly “My ‘rack’ was mentioned - lol!!!  There were no airs nor graces about him – just “I’m here I’m me”… I like people like that.  I imagine getting on the wrong side of him wouldn’t be too much fun for me though.. very quick with the wit and I imagine a great user of words – actually.. really funny  –.. we had a little chat outside for a brief time and he had me in stitches!!! – He was one of those people that you may only meet for 5 minutes in your lifetime but has an impact on you!! Yep.. definitely one of those people!!... What was his name again.. Oh yea.. Steve ;-) lol  (as if I could forget). Anyway, the show went without a hitch… TC and I were up to our neck with people calling in and wanting to have Eric Benet mention their names… Eric sang happy birthday to one listener (I think I swooned around that point)… and I had female friends on my Facebook and Twitter telling me they “hated” me…  lol.. all in good fun though.. I hope!!! It was a lovely two hours… Eric Benet’s selection of tunes was perfect for a sunny Sunday afternoon… When the show was over, it was time for our guests to leave as Eric (see how I did that.. 1stname terms now) was performing at the Jazz Café…  (Steve had shot off  a bit earlier). As per usual, it was time for our photo call – each week we get the poor unsuspecting guest to have their picture taken with us all…. For some reason I felt weird having my photo taken with Eric Benet – I’m so used to seeing him standing next to Hollywoods beautiful people.. but he was so nice and polite, a gentleman to the max.. he smiled and obliged and after having his picture with us all, he and his manager disappeared off into the evening and we cleared up the studio and made our way home!!!  Later on that night…  whilst I was sitting eating my Kentucky Fried chicken in my little semi in my little town watching some rubbish on TV… It hit me… how surreal… I have just spent the afternoon… doing something quite amazing really, with lovely friends, meeting some amazingly interesting people who live completely different worlds to me… is THAT normal!!!! So… getting back to my original question… WHAT IS A NORMAL LIFE… there is no such thing is there?  We all have our ups and downs, highs and lows… and we deal with the hand we are given…. I don’t think I will ever be rich in monetary means but I’m rich in love and life experiences.. sometimes we’re down on our backsides… and I’ve been there as you know, sometimes we’re flying high (prefereably avoiding illegal substances to do it).. in my case normally when I’m on the dance floor – but when is a life normal… Life is about living and enjoying it to the max and that’s what we all try and do in our own individual ways…. I remember my nan say to me once… “Deborah… (cringe)… you will live a champagne lifestyle on a Guiness wage ….. enjoy it and make the most of it!”  and do you know what… SHE WAS RIGHT and I am!!!!    

WELL... THAT'S MY NORMAL!

THE YIN-YANG.. of Cyber World!!

-----Original Message-----

The Good, The Bad and the Ugly

As some of you may already know… the past week bought me some unwanted attention from a rather vicious attacker… it initially started because the person concerned was looking for something within her relationship… She found a message from her husband (whom I have known for quite some time), congratulating me on my modeling, to ignore the haters and carry on doing what I was doing, he stated that I was “gorgeous” and said “lovely pics of a lovely lady” –maybe that was the mistake!

From where I was concerned… this was just a wife/partner/lover that had insecurities within her relationship… we’ve all been there at some time or another. I assured this person that there was nothing “in” the message and that the most intimate he and I had ever been was the odd kiss on the cheek hello and goodbye.

She was obviously very angry over something she had found, and, I have been told, could not get to the people that she wanted to get to, so turned her anger toward me. After a brief exchange or messages and me putting a status up on Facebook, she threatened me and ordered me to remove it (to be honest, by rights, unless she was on her husbands account, she should not have been able to see my wall at all). Being the type of person I am, I decided to take the post down, block her and her husband, and put the whole nasty episode behind me…. Unfortunately, this wasn’t to be the case!!

My Facebook is set to private… the only people that can see my posts are my friends, friends of friends can try to add me or message me (but they go into an alternative folder) but they should not be able to view anything that is on my personal wall. Unfortunately, the page that I set up for my modeling work is not like this. It cannot be made private…

Within 20 minutes of blocking this person, I received a message on my public page from an unknown user… it was disgustingly gross, full of insults and very vicious. It also made reference relating to what the previous aggressor had threatened. It was all too obvious the two were related, although, I hasten to add, this cannot be proven at this moment. Over the next 48 hours my page was targeted, I was called a “dog whore” “pig” “Skanky bitch that should be ashamed of myself” etc etc you name it, I was called it… the language was disgusting and yes, I will admit, was hurtful.

Now, for those that don’t know me, let me explain a little something.

I am not a spring chicken! I am a 48 year old woman that was scouted and asked to start modeling again, after being out of it for 20 plus years. Since doing it again.. I have had a lot of work, some great feedback, some not so great feedback, but I have come alive again… I am a ho yes, as my new found friend above called me… but I prefer the term “Camera HO”, I can be anyone in front of the camera, it’s acting, its all fantasy, it’s harmless and it’s fun” .

I am doing it now because I wanted to show women, like me, actually, not just women, but men also, that just because we have reached a certain age… it doesn’t mean we have to sit back and wait for old age to kick in. We are all beautiful in our own skins and it’s time we started to try and feel comfortable about who we are, what lines we have and any extra curves we may have.. WE are REAL people and WE should try and do the things we always wanted to do!!

There is something that I have tried to keep relatively quiet…. Originally I had to give up my modeling and dancing career due to ill health. Not many people have known this ‘till recently… for two years, I was Agoraphobic. I could not leave my house. I suffered from severe anxiety attacks and my whole world came crashing down.. I was totally housebound. By the time I began to recover, my confidence had hit such a low that modeling to me would never (or so I thought) be a consideration again.. I gave up my dream and lived my life the safest way I knew how, plodding along, learning to cope with my anxiety… and.. truth be known… I’ve had a great time albeit with a few struggles, but all in all… I’m lucky.. I had my son whom I love dearly, still get on well with his dad and I have some amazing friends and family in my life that have supported me through the dark days and really helped me find “me” again – it took a long time.

My Soul family friends and also many FaceBook friends, some who I have never met, have also been great… new doors and new friendships have opened and grown.

I knew, the day I began to post my pictures onto a social networking site, that I was leaving myself exposed to criticism, I expected it. I expected some to think I was a joke, conceited, up my own ar$e, too old, too ugly… and I accepted it to a degree. I wont say it didn’t cut me.. especially when it was people that I have called my friends over recent years but these friends hadn’t known me all those years before.. some of them have done a turn around and encourage and support me, sadly, some have walked away.

In all though… I will say, the support that I have had, has been amazing and encouraging and I feel truly flattered when people like the work that I am doing. Even I sometimes look at the pictures (as John who I work with a lot will tell you) and say… “OMG.. is that really me???”.. (that all goes back to the confidence thing).

I think what I’m trying to say today is, this week has taught me a great deal… this person, through her wicked, nasty, bitter and vicious tongue… cowardly HIDING behind her computer and a make believe name, has shown me something that we all know but don’t get until it really hits us in the face… The social networking thing can be great, fantastic… I’ve met, made friends with and learned from so many amazing people, I’m getting more work offers and opportunities connected to my modeling from the platform that FB has given me… but the down side is… I have also had to block some people – a lot of people. Some of whom were just plain negative - constantly, some who were sucking the energy from me, and some, who were just out and out damn right rude and nasty.

I suppose the Motto of this blog today is…. When you put yourself in front of people, you’re sure to attract positive and negative people around you – I knew this…. I now have to learn that avoiding or escaping these situations is definitely not a solution, I believe the most important thing is knowing how to handle it, and I will learn – I’m on my way, it may take time.. but I will get there.

It really is true what they say - There is an ugly side to all parts and walks in life as well as a beautiful side, and it’s more prominent now because of internet and social networking – it is in our homes!

The Yin-Yang of LIFE... !!!!

A FUNNY GAME CALLED LIFE!

Who was it who said.. “Life.. it’s a funny ol’ game” ? Who ever it was, how right they were!!! And people…. People are so different from each other.. people can change without you even noticing it… I s’pose that’s all part of the game!! Apparently I’ve changed (so I was told recently)… well… that’s quite obvious really… I’ve had a life… lots of experiences some very good, some very bad, circumstances have changed, situations have changed… and I have the lines on my face to tell of them so why not my persona slightly change… but I’m still me, still have the same values, the same beliefs, the same heart and the same brain, and those that really know me.. know that. Some things that excited and interested me 5/10 years ago, don’t hold my attention any longer… but some things that maybe bored me 20 years ago, have suddenly become intriguing to me!!! As you can see, I’m in a very philosophical mood at the moment. I’ve not written since my Caister Blog as a lot has been happening in the world of me. I lost a very dear Aunty, she was 84… she had a terrible fall and was taken into hospital, 10 days later she contracted this goddam awful stomach bug… she collapsed and was unconscious and the decision was made to let her go… she didn’t want to be resuscitated and she stayed asleep. The funeral was beautiful, yet strange… as these things are.. There were family members I hadn’t seen for over 16 years.. with very good reason for some I hasten to add… but also for others, because time has just slipped away and the years have disappeared in the blink of an eye. Morgan (my son) and I, pulled up in the car and I looked at him and said… “I don’t know anyone”, I was actually quite nervous. There was a group mingling outside the church waiting for my aunt, my mum & dad and my cousins to arrive. We got out of the car and as we walked towards the people and they started to turn ‘round, I could hear… “it’s Debi, oh my look at her and look at Morgan now”… then I realised.. the grey haired guy standing tall with his wife, daughter and her husband, was Ken… my first ever crush!!! He was tall, once with a thick mop of black hair, beautiful brown eyes and always with a suntan… also my 2 nd cousin… I always remember the day I saw a Chirstmas card on his mums mantle-piece from his girlfriend (wife today), saying “to the one I love”… I was devastated and hated her for days!!!! Reverting back to a soppy teenager I made my way over to him and his family… I believe I actually blushed too… “well look at you… you’ve blossomed.. you look great” he hugged me and kissed me (on the cheeks) and so did his wife and daughter… I introduced poor Morgan as “my baby”.. and we stood catching up on as much as we could. Then I heard a shriek from behind me… “DEBORAH JONES.. I’d recognise you ANYWHERE”…. I knew the voice, but I couldn’t see her.. another 2 nd cousin.. Julia.. I SO wanted to be like her when I was younger, she was 8 years older than me and always had the most amazing clothes, hair styles, make up tips… she was gorgeous.. and there was me a fat dumpy thing. Then all of a sudden, there she was, shooting from behind a crowd of other family members I hadn’t recognised… Obviously still 8 years older, AND still as glamorous… she wasn’t so tall though.. I towered above here.. petite little figure and her now blonde hair.. we hugged and cuddled and laughed, yes and cried … we had to stop.. we had to remind ourselves where we were. The service was nice… not like a lot of the services I’ve been used to in the last few years… sad, and spiritually up lifting.. it was nice.. and it suited Aunty Eileen, a shy but very kind gentle lady. She was laid rest with my Uncle… it was quite surreal for me… 25 years ago on the spot they were to be sleeping, I had had my wedding pictures taking exactly there.. then 9 years after that.. Uncle Bill was laid to rest there, and now Aunty Eileen.. it’s something I can never get my head round. After looking at all the flowers and tributes, and paying our respects to each other, we then made our way to the pub… again.. a very strange feeling. We had just been crying and holding each other, comforting one another as we said our own little good byes, and within half an hour, the whole group was laughing, joking and playing catch up… talking about the old times, Christmas parties we used to hold at Easter, talking about how we’ve changed how we haven’t changed, what we’ve done with our lives. Being introduced to children and grandchildren, new husbands and wives… Us 40 plus year olds were still being called “the kids” and our kids were being called the babies.. but some of the babies had babies. It was perfect.. a wonderful send off for a wonderful lady and I was so proud to be there and be a part of this wonderful family. As I said… “Life… it’s a funny ol’ game” A true statement…. Aunty Eileens funeral made me realise something… we ALL make our mark.. in our own way.. we all are here to do something.. I don’t know what it is I’m here to do, but I am beginning to find out, and just maybe someone, somewhere, looked up to me when they were a little girl like I looked up to Julia. I wondered out of the young girls there, which one of the three giggling in the corner was the one that would make Morgan their first crust… him NEVER EVER knowing (although I did actually tell Ken at the end of the day that he had been mine)… We all … day to day, do our own thing, go through our trials and tribulations, we have our own set of friends … new families…. But when you look at the bigger picture… WE ARE ALL THE SAME as much as WE ARE ALL DIFFERENT. We are born, we live, we die. The important thing is how we do the bit in the middle. Last Tuesday instilled in me even deeper than it already was … WE MUST LIVE OUR LIVES TO THE FULL.. enjoy every single moment as much as we can and embrace LIFE…. the wind, the rain, the sun, the snow… the flowers, the grass, the trees and the people around us. Accept people for who they are, what they chose to do and be thankful we have had the opportunity to enjoy these things… even the sad and bad things. It all makes us! EVERY DAY MATTERS… and yes, a “funny ol’ game” but… It’s one game.. I love!!!

Footsshoesandfashion interview with ME! X

Monocrome Effect - An Interview With Dancing Debi | Boots, Shoes & Fashion

Our Caister Soul Weekender

How well behaved were we !!!! – VERY!!!!

Well … most of us!!

As a whole, our bi-annual trip to Caister Soul Weekender was quite tame this time (well… from where I was standing anyway)… We had our usual laughs and giggles… there were a few drunken moments.. but nothing too terrible… “One Shoe Susan” didn’t find her other shoe, but managed to keep the ones she had with her, in pairs… “The Roman” will tell you though.. “One shoe” has started to wear lamp shades… DON’T go there!!!

From the minute “One Shoe” and Amanda picked me up from my house, it was laughs all the way. We were tempted to leave “The Roman” at home at one point, but, good friends that we are, eventually allowed her to get in the car!!!

I wasn’t staying in their caravan this time, and as you know, my lovely roomy, Danny wasn’t able to come with us – I was in with M’lady, Sara and M’lady’s friend from work, Kathy. They got to the camp shortly before us and by the time I found my way to the van… there had obviously been quite a bit of alcohol flowing. No punch or cocktails this time though.

After the usual kissing and hugging, we went to the other van, met up with the girls and went down to the main venue.

Unless you know Caister, it’s hard to explain. People say “The Soul Family”.. well .. yes.. it is like that really… a family… you get the mums, the dads, the siblings.. some that get on, some that don’t, and from what I hear it can be a little incestuous … like some families lol…

That first session in the main room is normally spent saying hi – kissing cheeks – or (for some I know) butts…. Having a little boogie and getting in the mood for the weekend of partying ahead!!!

At about 8pm we all went back to our respective vans, had something to eat, a chill and then got ready for the night ahead…. Saying that, M’Lady (Anne), Sara and Kathy aren’t really into the going out in the evening thing, so, I got myself ready and met up with the others.. by now, Martine had arrived.

We had a blinding night… danced our socks off, met up with “Cup cake Sara” and our honorary girl, Anthony… he isn’t a girl, nothing like a girl, but he is ONE of us…. Mad, crazy, lovely and fun!!! Love him to bits!!!

I gave up the ghost early for me… about 3am… I had been attacked by a Mutant form of hay fever that was to stay with me for the whole weekend… my eyes were sore and I was shattered (bit of a late Thursday night didn’t help)… so, I left the others to it and went back to my van.

The girls had left the light on in the living area for me.. it kinda felt alien to me (I know it was bloody cold)…. I’ve been used to late night caravan parties or when the nights ended, me and Danny and the girls, sitting mulling over the evening gossiping about our night.. it was dead quiet.. The three of them were in bed.. out for the count… Although Sara was rudely woken by me trying to dig out my onesy - it was bloody freezing in there.. I needed to sit and unwind and have my Galaxy Drinking Chocolate.. (Thanks Sara, love ya girl).

After remaking my bed and wrapping myself tightly in everything I had to hand to keep me warm (every year I say I should take gloves for that first night), I eventually dozed off… must’ve been about 4/4:30am.

Next thing I know, I wake up, I can hear voices in the living area, Sara isn’t in her bed, so I pick up my phone to check the time.. hmmm.. no reading glasses, but am pretty sure it says 8:48am… wow.. for Caister, that’s not bad… 4 hours sleep… it’s a bit early for me still but now I’m awake, I may as well get up!!!

It’s all very nice and civilised, Anne has made me a cup of tea, Sara and Kathy have been down the shop. We’re sitting there chatting and I think… “Let’s give Morgan (my son) a ring, make sure he’s up for work… I dialled the number, no answer, dialled it again, still no answer… lazy sod… he’s going to over-sleep… What IS the time… I slipped on my glasses… OH MY DAYS… it wasn’t even 8am yet.. When I looked originally, (tried looking), it must have been 6:48am… not 8:48am!!!! UNHEARD OF!!! Some people don’t even go to bed till around that time at Caister (if they go to bed at all)… and here I am.. thinking I’ve had 4 hours sleep, drinking tea, discussing anything and everything and it wasn’t even 8 O’Clock!!! I was horrified…..

I was seriously considering going back to bed, even though I’m one of those that once I’m up, I’m up, but then the subject of breakfast was bought up… I had taken porridge for me… all part of my healthy eating, stay fit and healthy regime… but Sara and Anne insisted I was to join them for their fry up… well.. it would have been rude not too… and M’Lady does do a wicked Brekky!!!

I’m not going to bore you all with a minute by minute break down from our great weekend.. You had to be there… We had two fab BBQ’s… even though it seemed much more packed than usual, it was a bit claustrophobic at times, but then again, the sun shone bright so I s’pose more people than usual made it out …

The night times were just as good, “Two shoes”, Amanda and I were going out at about midnight, meeting up with “The Roman” when she surfaced and Martine – we danced and laughed the night away, meeting friends, old and new and then, at the end of the night, I was creeping in, remember like you did when you were a kid and you didn’t want to wake mum and dad… the only trouble is… I ended up waking everyone coz the key wouldn’t work… woopsie!!!

We took untold photo’s, had untold photo’s taken of us all… we nicked the Soul Purpose crews fancy dress outfits… I stacked it in the BBQ area and had Anthony use me to break HIS fall…. “The Roman” practiced the Windmill, Amanda, on the spur of the moment, had a B52 party… it was all the craziness we had expected!!!

My highlight (if you take away the laughs with the girls)… was Finale night.. Sunday – it’s always the best night for me. We didn’t get out till gone midnight… walked into the main venue and made our way to the dance floor where I spied a group of familiar faces from back in the day having a dance off… Some of them were the old crew… I went over to watch them (12:30 is early for Caister Dance Offs).. but they were in full swing… somehow, I ended up joining in… LOVE IT… sporadically this happened all through the night.. it was brilliant, although I will say, I could never match some of the guys. We also had a couple of youngsters (well they said they were 30 but looked younger) join in… that enhanced it even more… Brilliant.

Anne, Sara and Kathy were all back at the van so there was just me, Amanda, “The Roman”, “Two Shoes” and Anthony… but it was still a great night!!!

Well, like all good things, it had to come to an end… we were so lucky, the sun shone from start to finish, no arguments, no drama’s, just a wicked weekend away with the best bunch of mates ever… yes.. I include the blondes in that. I wont be going in September.. it’s going to be the first that I’ve missed in god knows how many years… I’m determined to have a proper holiday this year … It’s been 13 years since my last and I want to get on a plane and hunt out the sun… so saving is going to be a huge part of my summer.

Our next BIG trip out when ALL of us normally get together, will be Summer Soulstice in June… Now THAT is a good day….

When I think about my life and things that have happened to me, how things could have turned out etc… I realise… I really am one lucky lady. I don’t have much money, but I have the utmost amount of riches in the friends & loved ones in my life… we may feel down sometimes, we may get lonely or sad, but when we’re all together, we laugh, we live, and we have fun…. And really, that’s what it’s really.. all about xxx

CAISTER SOUL WEEKENDER

“Here come the girls”

OK, for those of you that don’t know… Caister Soul Weekender is where a few thousand of us migrate to Great Yarmouth, Norfolk twice a year, every year. Some of us have been doing this for a good many years… me… 32 give or take a few misses (Yes.. I know.. I don’t look old enough!!) cough cough.

It’s the biggest, longest running Soul Weekender that I know of… and it’s become a huge part of my life. I was going to give it a miss this time.. I was meant to be going to a Wedding in Malta in a few weeks but it all went pear shape and now I’m not.

I still said I would give Caister a miss though… obviously having a bad day???.. But as the weekender has drawn nearer and nearer.. I knew I wouldn’t be able to bare to miss out on the fun with the “crazy gang”…

It’s the one time where most of us brunettes & blondes ALL get together… M’Lady.. Anne.. leaves her country Manor for the weekend, Our lovely Sara, The Roman, One Shoe Susan, my gorgeous brunette sister Amanda and even Martine (almost as mad as the Roman) is coming. My lovely Cup Cake Sarah and the GAWJUSS Anthony will be there (yes.. he’s classed as an honourary girly and damn he can dance!!! )… it’s great … there are so many lovely lovely people that we see year after year… some call us “The Family”.

One absence this year will be my beautiful wonderful Dolly… he’s my roomy.. he’s my diamond.. from the minute we get together, we laugh.. he takes photo’s of everyone and everything… no matter what time of day or night it is.. and what STATE your appearance is at… I love him madly and will miss him crazy.. he’s my sunshine friend.. but this year he has much more important things to do.. he’s involved hugely in Charity projects.. and this is another reason why I love him.. he give so much… nevertheless… I will feel his absence as I’m sure many others will too… all us girls for sure.

The Weekends Preparations seem to be in full swing…. For every one else… for me… well.. this year, I’m trying different tactics…

Normally I pack 3/4/5 days in advance… but it has been impossible for me to do that.. I’ve been on the go non stop.. NOT that I’m complaining. But one of the disadvantages with packing that early (for me) is… it gives me time to think and rethink about what I’m taking, what I do and don’t need… the case gets packed, emptied, packed again and emptied again!!!

“Shall I take these shoes or those shoes.. hell.. lets take both pairs… hmm.. gona need some boots… and flats.. will need my flats.. now … underwear… “… the list is ongoing… don’t even get me started on the Make-UP!!

By the time I go… I may as well be having a two week holiday the other side of the world! An outfit for every occasion … yes.. even a wedding.. I got married at Caister one year (it was annulled within 24 hours – sorry Foz!! LOL)… Us girls need to be ready for every eventuality!!! This year I’m doing it differently… 8 thongs, 3 bra’s, one pair of shorts, one pair of jeans, a pair of leggings, one denim skirt.. a few vests … one LBD and my fancy dress outfit… trainers, one pair of heels and one pair of pumps.. THAT’S IT… oh…. Um … hmmmm .. should I take my boots… ?? what if it gets really hot… bikini… or cold… Jumper… oh gawd… here we go… decisions decisions!!!

M’Lady has cut down on her luggage apparently this year – so she tells me…. She’s gone from 20 pairs of shoes to only 10…. Cant begin to imagine how many items of clothing she’ll be taking with her – she’s been shopping since February for this…. Let’s hope she get’s to wear them this time… Her and Sara were very poorly one Caister not so long ago, such a shame.… “achohol induced?” I hear you ask… NO… never.. Not Anne and Sara… never.. it’s all lies the rumours about this lethal punch or the cocktails that they make… rubbish… it’s fruit juice with a little alcohol flavouring… you know… the kind you get in rum truffles.. that kinda thing… They give it to people like a placebo … fools them into thinking they’re on the hard stuff!!! Hahahaha… yea right!!!

OK let’s tell you a little about the girls…

Anne is our sensible mother type figure… well… sensible may not be the word actually – she does have her “nutty moments” .. get your camera’s ready after the BBQ on the Sunday, M’Lady has a habit of shocking us all … I shall divulge no more… WHAT HAPPENS AT CAISTER STAYS AT CAISTER… (well only if the battery has gone flat on my camera!!!).

Sara is lovely, so inoffensive and lovely… until the alcohol kicks in and she starts doing her impression of Jennifer Hudson in the Caravan… I swear down.. you would never know it wasn’t the lady herself… but no.. it’s better.. it’s our Sara!!! Fantastic voice (just don’t let the soulprana join in – she knows who she is!!!)

The Roman and Martine… I don’t even want to begin to tell you what they might or might not be getting up to… Causing trouble somewhere no doubt… Although I will say… Martine is the one that feeds us!! Superb she is and so organised… she’s like a mum… you’ll get a phone call… come on back I’m dishing up… gotta love her!!!

I will say.. The Roman packs the lightest out of all of us… well… she doesn’t believe in underwear apparently (so One Shoe tells me).. so not having three days and nights worth.. would be a big space saving for her!!!

I’m travelling up with The Roman, Two Shoes Susan and Amanda this time… which could be dangerous… The Roman has a habit of force feeding me pink fizz in the back of the car.. and I’m not talking grapefruit fizzy aid… I’m talking Champa’s or Cava… it doesn’t matter with the Roman… if it’s fizzy, alcoholic and preferably pink… she’ll down it and insist on pouring it down my throat. Infact, if it’s alcoholic she’ll down it… best hide my pink nail varnish remover!!!

Now… Amanda and “one shoe”… Amanda I liken to myself… fun and sensible … knows when to have a laugh.. doesn’t EVER get into any trouble.. dances the night away and enjoys herself… well… she’s brunette… (Sara’s much the same.. just miss-led by M’Lady).. but ONE SHOE SUSAN.. she’s a different story completely…. Her name explains all.. Dolly named her that one Caister.. and every year since, we still find her, in the early hours of the morning… legs hanging out of various bushes all over the campsite… she swears she’s still looking for her lost shoe!!!

Whatever happens.. I know that this weekend will be “THE BEST CAISTER EVER”… it always is.. always has been and always will be…. We will dance, laugh, talk a load of ol’ tosh, have heart to hearts, catch up with old Soul friends from years gone by… meet new friends… and dance… and DANCE AND DANCE AND DANCE!!!! Who knows.. I might even venture to the swimming pool this year (it’s a nightmare trying to get a shower while the water’s still hot in our vans!!).

Well, that’s about it for this week’s blog. HERE’S TO A GREAT WEEKEND with my Sisters… I love ‘em all !!!

A VERY PROUD MUM IS ME X

I can’t tell you everything I did last week…

a) there’s too much to remember, b) I wouldn’t want to bore you… well not too much -and
c) some of it is a complete blur now. Let’s just say… it included high’s, lows, smiles, tears, working out hard, sweating buckets and even some prodding and poking here and there… (errr.. you at the back… please.. keep it clean!).

Today I’m gona beam about my number one (and only) 19 year old Son…

He tells me on Tuesday, he has an interview for a Sales job… not sure whether it was 10 or 20 calls I had from him that morning.. “where’s this, where’s that, what tie goes with what shirt..” point proven, he still needs his mum for SOME things!!

Off he went, and yes, I had every faith in him.. that’s MY boy, ‘course he’s gona get the job.. he’s intelligent (more than me I must say), smart, handsome and very ambitious. Every second after 2:30pm seemed to last a minute – waiting in anticipation for his call and trying to concentrate on my own work.

Then it came… bless him, you should’ve heard his voice.. happy as Larry he was/is…

“Guess who got the job?”…. errr.. the geezer in the car behind, lol!!

Off he went shopping, new shoes, new shirts, new socks… Err hum didn’t see no new underpants though.....?

He had an induction to go to the next day and would be starting FOR REAL on Thursday…

I’m SO HAPPY for him, he’s a hard worker, he’s even going to try and to keep his Bar tender job going and certainly doesn’t want to give up his DJ’ing …... he doesn’t stop - EVER… Hmmm wonder where he gets THAT from?

OK… I’m sure all mums say this… but…. If there’s one good/brilliant/fantastic thing I have achieved in this life.. it’s having my boy and bringing up a wonderful young man… he’s my star and every single day makes me proud.. I love him to bits. He has a big heart and a great character… yes his bedroom is the messiest in the world… but he has a cheeky way about him that enables him to get away with murder where I’m concerned…. And if a messy bedroom is the worst I have to contend with… it aint a bad lot!!!

Any ways – I just want you to know….. 6 days later, my boy is loving his new job…. Getting his teeth into it, and going out in the morning looking “proper dapper”….. OH… and he’s also talking about emigrating to Canada/South Africa any where…. and owning his own business within the next 18 months!!! You gotta love his ambition !!!!

(“o)

A night out with the Blondes!

Dancing Debi’s Dotty Diary??…. Someone asked me why that? Why? Because someone else said it sums me up to a T. ‘ said I have a crazy life… rubbish, my life is no different to anyone else’s, I just seem to cram a lot in.. not always a good thing… but very rarely a bad thing!! But hey listen, we’re not here forever and I’m done with waisting my life wishing I’d done this and done that… done too much of that already. I think it also the Dottyness may have something to do with my crazy but lovely mates!!!

Saturday night I ended up going out with the two mad blondes, “One Shoe Susan” and “Missy T”. We went to a boat moored along the Thames. Nice boat!! Music a bit “cheesey” for my liking (but I can be a snob when it comes to my tunes).. and some of the fellow party people didn’t really have party attitudes.. more.. let’s go out and see what drama we can cause and who can give the dirtiest look attitude!! Most of the men in the place were guys that we all know.. most of them regularly leaving their wives and girlfriends at home and go fishing for new totty, stupidly enough, it looked like a lot of the totty there were falling for the charms of these guys… was funny to watch tho… the predator snaring his victim!

The best bits of the evening (for me) were the getting there, walking back to the car and getting home… those two girls crack me up.

The wind was blowing a gust, but all of us known to love the camera, decided to have our photo taken with the lights of the South Bank twinkling behind us (well not quite the South bank but it was South of us).

Hair everywhere and a few too many chocolate voddy thingies… “One Shoe” nearly went for a dip in the lovely brown water!!! Leant on the barrier that was clearly made out of tin and down she started to go!

I was a little worried “Missy” may just give her the final shove but we both went to her rescue… well.. I think she was trying to rescue her. “Missy”?

The next instalment was finding the car!! We’d parked in the right car park, but we had walked too far up… there was a little wall for us to climb over otherwise we would have had to walk all the way back or all the way round.

“Missy T” and I were fine (well… as fine as “Missy” can be), she had jeans on and I had leggings on… but not our “One Shoe”, not only did she have five inch heels on… she also had a short, fitted white dress (and when I say fitted, I’m talking “what she had for dinner” fitted. Beautiful as it was… not really the kinda thing you wana be climbing walls in….

Neeldless to say, by the time we got back into the car, the tears were streaming down our faces and I think one or more of us may have wished we’d tried “Tenar Ladies”!

The girls are hilarious… without them.. my life would be very dull… and despite us all the winding each other up and digging at each other, we love one another dearly, accept each other for who we are, and I know for a fact, that they will be there for me as I will for them in times of need.

ALL of us (yes there are more) are all looking forward to 3/5/2013 (2 weeks and 2 days to go), when we will all be taking our trip usual trip up the A12 to Caister Soul Weekender… 32 years I’ve been going… ish… I was only 1 at my first one!!!

NOW THAT WILL BE ONE DOTTY WEEKEND!!

The week that was!!

Well... after the week I had... I really need this weekend... plans dont always go accordingly... & yes they've changed ... but that's how the cookie crumbles at times!!!

This week has had it's usual ups and downs.. highs and lows... but as usual... we gotta push forwards & onwards!!

The modelling work is getting exciting... have 4 shoots coming up.. quite different to work I've done before... stylish and appropriate for my age :-).

I will say... I was given a rather "iffy" proposition... I feel sorry for the youngsters desperate to get into the game... they might be tempted to take these offers.. the money is amazing.. but for me.. I couldnt do it... one .. i have a son who i respect greatly & would disown me for life... two.. it isnt in my making.... I dont think I need to explain what kind of work it was.

Needless to say... I declined... graciously!!

On a lighter note... I'm in the process of cooking a culinary delight (debateable)... my family have needed me today & I need to be here with them.  Cottage pie, roast pots and veggies... I just hope its edible & doesnt cause any "adverse" side effects... it has been known!!!

Have a good weekend all!!! xx

Stupendously Successful Weekend!

WHO came to SMOOVE GROOVES Saturday night?
If you missed it.. you missed a party to remember!
I popped into Flip n TC's during the day.. The preparations were in full swing for our launch at our new home THE WOOLSTON MANOR!
I swear 700 plus, gorgeous grown n secksy, Soul, RnB, party people turned up.
Despite the freezing temperatures outside.. (& us hinting people to turn up early).. at 10:30pm I couldn't see the end of the queue to get in.

Most people were patient & came through the doors, shivering yet smiling, dying to get up them stairs and on the dance floor!! I think us door peeps (just a small part of the SG's team) done good. 
On our respective mooches round the venue it seemed that everyone was having a ball!! "foot flinging" everywhere we looked... smiling faces... I'm telling ya... THAT'S what a night out is about in my books!!!

I didn't get my normal boogie but hey ho... I'm not paid to dance.. and I DID enjoy myself!!

I've had untold messages since from people saying what a great night it was and asking when the next one is... it's the FIRST SATURDAY IN JUNE!! Caister Soul Weekender next month!!
I'm still buzzing, even though I havent had a chance to sit down yet!! lol

Flip, TC & Bigger done us all proud! & the rest of the Smoove Grooves Team... Donna, Nicki, Rohan, Swify, Scotty & Stuart.. we all worked hard, but worth it!!
Pauline Henry (Chimes) sang like an angel.. the Soul City guys played like deamons in the Small room.. our guys surpassed themselves.. and Jeff Young.. the legend that is.. did NOT let us down!

ROLL ON JUNE I say

Right... enough of me gushing about SG's.. I spose I'm biased.. I'm to munch my weight watchers lasagne & get ready for my work out .... got a shoot coming up this week & we're stepping up the level... i wana be tip top!! Saying that tho... I have a Belisha beacon flashing on my face!!! Most people call them spots but D*MN!!  This one's a hum dinger!!!!

The saying "thank god it's Friday" certainly seems apt for me right now!! what is going on?? has the whole world gone wonky? My week's had highs.. lows.. excitement.. boredom.. drama and fun!! Kinda normal then for me!! i spent Monday recovering over the bank holiday after a great night @We Love Soul.. Hidden.. Vauxhall. The one place I can go to hear a selection of sounds.. many wicked dj's & be surrounded by grown ups that love the vibe. My feet always disown me the following day! Back to work Tuesday & back to the workouts! Gotta get FITTER than fit this year... loads of opportunities coming my way! On Wednesday I was asked by an online magazine to be interviewed.. im taking a stand for us older birds to up our game.. follow our dreams.. ive always been to scared to follow mine. Listened to too much negativity & backed down. Not any more! The modelling work is coming in & getting good feedback. I keep being asked to promote gigs for people.. for pittance or for free.. and I do it. Now I've been approached by someone to up my game.. use my talents and benefit myself.. for once. scarey stuff.. but i'm going for it.. I have to give it a shot. The downer of the week has been the usual hater.. trying to play games.. well.. i aint gona let em get me down... their lives are obviously very boring so they have to make stuff up about over people. Funny thing is.. I'm no one special... just a middle aged woman whos spent the last 20 yrs trying to survive and bring up my son. Maybe .. if they knew anything about me.. they'd think twice!! The fun highlight of my week... might seem small to someone else... is me & my training buddy learning to Hula Hoop!! Hilarious... two grown women remembering how we used to wiggle and spin suddenly revisiting our childhood again!!! I'm writing this with bruised ribs and a stiff back.. glancing at the hoop thinking.. maybe just a little go.. i can keep it going for a WHOLE minute now!! woo hoo! well.. on that note i'm gona quit this.. have a little hula hula for a bit.. then relax in a hot soapy bath. Got a full weekend ahead.. and i cant wait!!!

Thursday... april snow showers

making this very quick... does anyone else not want this snow to stop... its april for gawd sake.... someone sort it!!!!